Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
