go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
