i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize