I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
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