They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
