Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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