So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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