I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
