using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
