i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
