Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
