If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
