yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
