I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize