Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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