She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i've created a new STD.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Success! We fucked roommates!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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