i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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