I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
