So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
