ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
