Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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