Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
