"it" just moved
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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