my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
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