So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
