Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize