i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
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