the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
