"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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