OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize