Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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