Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
