it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
time to smoke my breakfast
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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