i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
