His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
