I look better un-naked...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
