You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
