having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
