and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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