belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
