Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
