Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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