my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
