Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
