we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
