Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
