I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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