Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
