I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
