i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
