if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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