hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize