this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
