Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
