So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Boobs are out for the taking
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
