She went from zero to smokin in five shots
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The cops high fived after they tackled you
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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