bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize