my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
try to milk me bitch
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