So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
