It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
